9 Insights From Slowing Down in Life…

• January 21, 2019

Recently I had the opportunity to take a vacation with my family.

Vacation is primarily quality time with those who mean the most to me, however, vacation is also time to slow down and go deeper within myself.

These insights are from some of those slower moments I had and what I need to hold on to to be a more effective me.

1. Busyness Doesn’t Equal Effectiveness.

I need to get better with my delete list.

Ask me on almost any given day if I’m busy and my answer will always be yes. However, after doing a deeper review of my time and how I fill it, I realize that I can become comfortably numb to being busy and not being very effective.

My solution is simple. I need to evaluate the return on the things I am most busy with and delete everything that doesn’t take me where I am trying to go.

What needs to be on your delete list?

2 – A Significant Conversation is Worth More than Many Shallow Talk

On vacation I intentionally had 3 very significant conversations with men I trust at very high levels. The 3 talks totaled about 3 hours and to say that each of them, and the cumulative of them, had a significant impact on me would not be an exaggeration.

What made them significant? 

It was a cumulative of the following:

My willingness to be vulnerable, candid and inquisitive and their willingness to do the same.

The height and depth of the conversations. We were able to not dumb-down the conversation and we also were able to keep it deep where it needed to be. It’s not unusual to talk with others who either can’t allow the conversation to remain high altitude or who aren’t comfortable with the seriousness of it. These men each were able to do both.

The lack of petty questions or small talk. I can talk with the best about almost anything in life. However, there comes a time when pettiness is only a distraction from the need of the moment.

They all were fire lighters not firefighters. When you’re sharing your dreams, you need someone who can elevate your flame instead of putting it out. We all need more firelighters in life.

My willingness to reach out and ask for their input. It’s too easy to go alone. However, we all need someone in our corner.

Who do you need to reach out to? When will you reach out to them? What do you need to talk to them about? What do you need to ask them?

3 – Fear Lives in the Illogical Space of My Mind

This actually came from one of those talks. When I was asked to answer a couple questions and I couldn’t, the revelation of how fear was abiding in that space became very clear. The insight was, “vagueness creates uncertainty”. I’ll never forget that moment and how it all made sense. Once we filled the same space with logic and a plan, the fear was 99% negated. It was incredible!

What role is fear playing in your life? What information do you need to negate it?

4 – Nothing Replaces Action

Well intended thoughts or plans are a dime a dozen. Until we act on our dream, absolutely nothing is happening.

If you and I will just stick with something long enough, the stats are in our favor. Most people either never start or their ability to endure is lacking and they bail when things become “too difficult.”

What’s one dream you’re not moving on? Determine now that you will take the first step.

5 – There’s a Balance Between Getting Help & Getting Started

It’s too easy to blame others for not helping you, or for not being there when you thought they should be. And while you sit and sulk, the vision is slowly fading away.

I can get lost in analysis paralysis and want everything to be perfect before I even start. I can blame others for not helping…for not showing up…for not doing what I assumed they’d do…and more.

When I get caught in that mentality, I become frustrated and angry and nothing happens.

There comes a time when you have to start. Period.

Who may have let you down? It’s time to let it go and move on.

6 – I am Addicted to Information

That’s not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. However, when reading one more book, one more article, watching one more video is the next step…information has gotten out of control.

The truth for me is that I have enough information on most things that I keep learning about. I need to apply what I know and move into transformation. I can be more worried about failing than I am about winning. I have learned to move on and learn.

What do you know enough about already?

7 – Life is Too Short

I love the quote that says, “it’s never too late to start, but it’s always too late to wait.”

It’s go time. When everything in me wants to wait, I have to make myself do the one thing that makes all the future things easier.

Enough said on this one.

What are you putting off that you need to get started doing?

8 – I Have to Have Better Boundaries 

It’s not an ongoing challenge, it’s a moment to moment challenge for me.

For example, when one of my kids wants to talk, I need to do a better job at stopping what I am doing and talk. I mean, I need to give them my greatest attention, not my divided attention.

I have learned to set better boundaries on things I’ll not wish I had more of in the future. I’ve learned to give greater attention to those who mean the most to me. It’s paying off.

Where do you need to do a better job with boundaries?

9 – Sometimes People See Things in You That You May Need Help Seeing

When you have the right people in your life, they don’t help make excuses for you. They will challenge you to rise to your full potential.

My core/tribe/group has evolved in the last year and the impact of this cannot be overstated. It’s said that those closest to you determine your level of success. They also say that you are the average of the 5 people you’re closest to. Again, the 3 conversations I’ve had this past week prove the truth of both of these statements.

I’ve intentionally worked on my tribe and the handful of those I am closest to.

Who’s in your circle? Does it need to change?

Have a great day – it’s the only one you have!