Are You a Pleasant Experience Easily Forgotten?

• April 29, 2019

“To be someone’s pleasant experience, you must evoke pleasure in them. Its longevity depends on how you extend it.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert

“What was his name – you know, that guy that made me laugh so much? He was very pleasant. I wish I could remember his name.”

How many times has someone said that about you? If you don’t know, it’s probably because the person that made the statement never reached out to you. You were easily forgotten. No one wants to think they’re easily forgotten – especially after they’ve bestowed pleasant experiences upon someone.

I offer the following suggestions to become more memorable.

1. Take the time to understand how individuals experience pleasure – Everyone doesn’t have the same sensations and thus, people experience pleasure differently. To put someone in a pleasant state of mind, you must understand their perspective (i.e. what’s funny, what’s sad, what they are seeking, what moves them). Once you have that insight, you’ll have a better idea of how to inflame their pleasure. And they’ll be more likely to remember you as the source that provided it.

2. When someone is in a festive mood, say your name several times during the conversation. As an example, say, “I know you might think, oh Greg your self-effacing humor is hilarious – but Greg says, for me, it’s not hilarious, it’s my life!” (Do that with a shrug of exasperation to add more meaning and humor to your words. Also, using the ‘third person’ (i.e. “Greg says …”) can add a sense of comedy to your statements.). They’ll remember you easier if you repeat your name because your name will become more infused in their mind. And they’ll associate your name with the occurrence.

3. Be engaging to the degree that your demeanor ignites emotions. People become moved to action via the emotions they experience and feel. To be more memorable, seek to arouse pleasant emotions that make people light up – you can detect this in the smile they display. Once they’re in such a state, keep them there through your actions as long as possible.

4. To connect better, match the body language of those you’re connecting with. You may be familiar with the phrase, people like people that are like themselves. There’s truth in that statement because, psychologically, if you’re like someone, they see a reflection of themselves in you. You can enhance the connection when someone’s experiencing pleasure by getting closer to them physically, making the same body gestures they make (i.e. hand movements, facial expressions, reactions), and speaking at the same pace and rhythm. You’ll influence their subliminal perspective by doing that. And that’ll make you more memorable.

5. When people experience pleasure, they associate whoever is around them with that experience. To be more memorable during such occasions, touch people in a manner that will make them feel good about you being with them – I’m not suggesting anything that’s inappropriate. The more sensations you ignite in them, the more memorable you’ll be.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

Not only do you shape a negotiation by what you say, and how you say it, you also shape it through the emotional arousal you awaken in the other negotiator. Thus, to endear yourself, make people remember the pleasant moments they have as you’re negotiating. When you reach a rough patch in the negotiation, you can attempt to put them back into a more pleasurable state by invoking the happier moments they’ve experienced with you. Doing that will help ease the tension in the negotiation and make it a more pleasurable experience. That will also cause others to remember you more fondly … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

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