Avoid Triangulation: How to Save Time and Money in a Conflict

• July 3, 2017

Avoid Triangulation: How to Save Time and Money in a Conflict

Have you ever been pulled into a conflict between two employees?  Two employees have an emotionally charged discussion, they fail to resolve the conflict and one of them comes to you, “Joseph is refusing to do his work.  I am sick of it.”  What do you do? Do you get in the middle?  Do you call together both employees to discuss the issue?  Don’t do it. It’s a trap.  It will likely waste your time and damage profitability too.  What can you do instead?

We learn this triangulation technique at an early age.  Triangulation is when a third party (neutral) is brought into a conflict for the purpose of reaching a resolution.  Here is a typical example.  Two children are playing and one does something the other doesn’t like.  Before you know it, “Mom!!!  Joseph took my toy!!”  Triangulation is a demonstration of either laziness or a lack of skill in resolving conflict.  It’s understandable in childhood. Children don’t know any better.  It is dysfunctional in the workplace and needs to be avoided.

There are three reasons why you should avoid being pulled into the middle.  It will likely waste your time.  It will rarely create a lasting resolution.  It will teach dependence.

Wasting Your Time

According to an Accountemps Survey in 2011, “Managers who were interviewed said they spend, on average, 18 percent of their time — intervening in employee disputes.” (Keeping the Peace: Accountemps Survey: Managers Spend Nearly a Full Day Each Week Dealing with Staff Conflicts, 2011)  Imagine you could save nearly 1-1/2 hours a day (seven hours a week or nine weeks per year), how much more could you accomplish?

Unlikely a Long-Term Resolution

When you are pulled into the middle, staying neutral is a big challenge.  Your biases will get in the way of appearing neutral to both employees.  One or both will likely see you on one side or the other.  This will prevent a solution from sticking.  Any perception of bias will create a perception of weakness in the quality of whatever solution is reached.

Teaching Dependency

If you insist on stepping in the middle of a conflict, what is the likelihood the employees will get you in the middle next time too?   It’s highly likely and, if employees depend on you for conflict resolution, innovation, productivity, and profit will suffer.

Correct Strategy

If getting in the middle should be avoided, then what is the correct strategy when employees can’t resolve their own conflict?  If you are being dragged into the middle, there are 3 key actions you can take to reverse the trend. First, identify the type of conflict.  Second, provide the correct tools.  Third, facilitate a discussion with the employees to resolve their own conflicts.

Identify the type of conflict

There are two sources of conflict, interests and positions.  Conflicts of interests are serious and very difficult to resolve. It means that the two people (or organizations) have totally different foundational priorities.  The Palestinians and Israelis have conflicts of interests.  Israelis desire to live in peace practicing their faith, living in a democracy and operating in a capitalist economy.  Many Palestinians want the destruction of Israel.  In organization, the existence of conflicts of interests are likely an indicator of a leadership failure.

Conflicts of positions are much easier to resolve and offer the best opportunity to innovate.  Imagine a couple want to take a trip to New York City.  The husband wants to drive.  The wife wants to take the train.  They both share the same interest, i.e. a trip to NYC.  They disagree on how, the position.

Conflicts of position offer an opportunity to talk and possibly negotiate.  Organization should have a very high percentage of conflicts of position. Any conflicts of interest are a failure of leadership skill and/or communication.  These types of conflict indicate a lack of clarity of the context.

Provide the tools

If it is a conflict of interest then, as a leader, you must get to work!  Clarify the vision, mission, values, strategy, and leadership model.  The lack of clarity has trickled down through into the minds of the employees.  You must ask, “Have we clarified the vision, mission, values, strategy, and leadership model for the organization?”  Any confusion about these five key cornerstones will likely create unnecessary conflicts.

If it is a conflict of position, it is a perfect time ask, “Do the employees have negotiation skills and/or experimentation tools and do they have permission to use them?”  The learning cycle is a perfect tool to take ideas and test them.  The learning cycle (Plan-Do-Check-Act) gives employees empowerment to test their positions.   A position is a theory. For example, in my NYC example, the husband might say, “Honey, if we drive we will have a better time because we can relax and leave whenever we want.  Can we try it this time, and perhaps take the train next time?”

Conflicts of position require emotional intelligence and specialized tools to lead emotional discussions.  Providing these tools enables employees to resolve their own conflicts.  Providing these tools is a leadership responsibility.

When you prepare the context and provide the tools, you can transform children into adults.  You will create an environment where you no longer have to be in the middle and you will observe employees independently resolve issues and create innovative solutions that the “middle-person” never could.   Facilitate a discussion to encourage employees to use the tools and create their own solutions.  Let them do it. Prepare them and turn them loose.  It will save you time and make you more money.

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

Keeping the Peace: Accountemps Survey: Managers Spend Nearly a Full Day Each Week Dealing with Staff Conflicts. (2011, March 15). Retrieved from http://accountemps.rhi.mediaroom.com: http://accountemps.rhi.mediaroom.com