Don't Believe Everything You Hear

• August 2, 2017

We’ve all heard the expression “don’t believe everything you hear”? This is not just relevant to what other people say; what about all the inner talk you have going on inside your head?

We all have inner voices and all too often they are not voices of support. There are actually four inner voices that you have, which can hold you back from reaching your goals if you are listening to them. The key is to learn to recognize each voice; so you can stop believing everything you hear.

Plus, if you have these voices in your head, the chances are good that those you work with do also. An important leadership skill is being able to recognize when other people are listening to their inner voices, so you can help them combat these thought patterns that are keeping them from reaching their goals.

Let’s take a look at each.

The Doubting Tom

This is the voice that doubts you are capable of doing something. Here we are talking about things that others are capable of doing, but the doubting tom tells you that you are not capable of doing it. Others refer to these thoughts as limiting beliefs. The doubting Tom says I could never speak on stage, I can’t write a book, I can’t talk to him or her, I can’t speak up in the meeting, I can’t share that idea, I can’t start my own business, etc.

You get the point; the Doubting Tom doubts or is skeptical that what you say you want to do is possible for you. If the voice is getting personal like you are not good enough or smart enough that is actually your inner critic, which we will talk about shortly.

The Storyteller

We all know someone who tells a great story; some of those stories are true and fascinating while others are made from great fiction. When the storyteller voice in your head starts talking, he or she is telling you a fictional story about a situation. “Sally does not like me because she doesn’t smile at me when I always see her smiling at Sam.” The storyteller is telling a story without having the facts.

My favorite example was when my inner storyteller told me that an organization I was doing business with didn’t take my email concern seriously because they had not responded. Granted the storyteller was telling that story within hours of sending the email. The truth was the person I sent the email to was actually working on it and had just not let me know yet. Other reasons could have been the person was out of the office, they were engaged on an important project, or any number of other situations, but my storyteller decided to tell a story that got me all worked up for no reason because this is what the storyteller does best.

The Cynic

This is the voice that says “that will never work” and it’s usually because you have tried something similar before and it did not work last time. The cynic says, “Remember, last time that did not work so why would you try it again?” The cynic uses the past to determine if something is a good idea now and will find reasons why it’s not a good idea.

Of course learning from the past is extremely important and looking at why something did not work before and seeing how you can do it differently this time is smart. But letting the cynic stop you from even considering an idea because something similar did not work last time is a sure-fire way to miss out on great ideas that can help you achieve great results.

The Inner Critic

As I alluded to when talking about the Doubting Tom, there are times that the voice is incident specific and says, “you can’t do that (fill in the blank)”; this is the Doubting Tom holding you back from even trying. However when the voice get’s more personal and starts to attack the essence of who you are by saying “you’re not good enough”, “you’re not smart enough”, “it’s not perfect enough for anyone to see”, etc. that is your Inner Critic. That is the voice that has the strongest hold on you and the one that can be the most paralyzing and devastating to your success.

And while the Inner Critic means well, at least that is what it is telling you, it does not have your best interest at heart. The Inner Critic thinks that it is protecting you from getting hurt, but what it is really doing is stopping you from getting to the next level of your success and growth.

Now you know what these voices sound like and how they are sabotaging you; next week we will dive into the strategies to overcome them, or as my friend Jeffrey Hayzlett said when I interviewed him on C-Suite Success Radio, to “stop inviting them to dinner.”

For more resources, articles, videos, and to listen to C-Suite Success Radio visit www.c-suiteresults.com and for comments or questions email sharon@c-suiteresults.com