{"id":30765,"date":"2021-10-22T16:41:47","date_gmt":"2021-10-22T21:41:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/csuiteold.c-suitenetwork.com\/advisors\/?p=30765"},"modified":"2021-10-27T08:02:52","modified_gmt":"2021-10-27T13:02:52","slug":"does-yelling-at-your-kid-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/csuiteold.c-suitenetwork.com\/advisors\/does-yelling-at-your-kid-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Does Yelling at Your Kid Work?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"entry-body\">\n<div class=\"entry-content clearfix\">\n<p>Stop me if you\u2019ve ever been in a situation like this one. . .<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve had a long day\u2014the kind where nothing seems to go right. Now, when you\u2019re supposed to be enjoying family time,\u00a0<strong>your kids will not stop bickering over the most insignificant things.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>While they\u2019re arguing over who can drink their water faster, you realize that you\u2019ve finally had enough. You interject, pleading with them to stop because you\u2019re afraid one of them might choke\u2014and, let\u2019s be honest, you just want a little peace and quiet.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Then it happens. Your sweet child turns to you and says, \u201c<em>Shut up, Mom.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s your trigger. You take a deep breath and start yelling your head off. You\u2019re\u00a0<em>human<\/em>\u00a0and you yell because you feel so disrespected, and it\u2019s been such a hard day. . . a hard week. . . a hard month. . . a hard year!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>You\u2019d never yell at a friend, or a coworker, or a neighbor, so how could you possibly have it in you to yell at your child?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Understanding Why Parents Yell<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>There are several reasons why parents yell at their children. It could be:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>an attempt to get your child to literally hear or listen to you<\/li>\n<li>a way of asserting dominance<\/li>\n<li>because you simply lost your temper<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns are-vertically-aligned-center\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-center\">\n<p>But unless you\u2019re shouting in a crowd to get your child\u2019s attention, yelling is never the best way to accomplish your parenting goals.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In my\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.consciousparentingrevolution.com\/media\">TEDx Talk,<\/a>\u00a0<em>The Rebellion Is Here \u2013 We Created it, We Can Solve It<\/em>, I talk about the external locus of control or the thought process of using rewards and punishments to control behavior. When parents turn to controlling forms of discipline\u2014like yelling\u2014they\u2019re relying on external factors to create what they believe will be well-behaved children.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019ve fallen into this trap before, give yourself some grace. Most people resort to this method of thinking, particularly in moments of stress. But it isn\u2019t effective, and it certainly doesn\u2019t lead to \u201cbetter\u201d behavior.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-center\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3918 lazyloaded\" src=\"https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-keira-burton-6624292-edited-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"Pexels Keira Burton 6624292\" width=\"1437\" height=\"2560\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-keira-burton-6624292-edited-scaled.jpg 1437w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-keira-burton-6624292-edited-168x300.jpg 168w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-keira-burton-6624292-edited-575x1024.jpg 575w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-keira-burton-6624292-edited-768x1368.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-keira-burton-6624292-edited-862x1536.jpg 862w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-keira-burton-6624292-edited-1150x2048.jpg 1150w\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-keira-burton-6624292-edited-scaled.jpg\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 1437px) 100vw, 1437px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<h3 class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Overcoming the Instinct to Yell<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Just as there\u2019s an external locus of control, there\u2019s an internal locus of control. The internal locus of control addresses underlying, unmet needs. It\u2019s not about what\u2019s happening on the outside; rather, it\u2019s about everything going on inside that is causing undesirable behavior.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When children act out, it\u2019s often their way of expressing an unmet need. This same logic can be applied to a parent who acts out by yelling, too.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>You can\u2019t pour from an empty cup, and you can\u2019t think logically when you\u2019re completely mentally drained. Yelling or losing your temper is always a sign to check in with yourself, as a parent and as a person, to understand why\u00a0<em>you<\/em>\u00a0acted out.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As it turns out, yelling or other controlling forms of discipline don\u2019t stop this cycle. In fact, they actually lead to your child acting out\u00a0<em>more<\/em>, through\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.consciousparentingrevolution.com\/is-your-teen-rebelling-resisting-and-retaliating\">retaliation, rebellion, and resentment<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns are-vertically-aligned-center\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-center\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3919 lazyloaded\" src=\"https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"Pexels Monstera 7114755\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-250x168.jpg 250w, https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-980x654.jpg 980w\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.katherinesellery.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-monstera-7114755-1024x683.jpg\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-center\">\n<p>Yelling can cause lasting psychological damage in children. And it never addresses the root of the problem. If you find yourself about to scream or shout, it\u2019s probably best for everyone involved that you remove yourself from the situation and find a different outlet.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The next time you wind yourself up to yell, pause. Ask yourself how you might respond to that sort of discipline\u2014and if it would cause you to change your behavior.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Instead, turn away,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.consciousparentingrevolution.com\/5-mindfulness-techniques-you-can-use-with-your-kids\">take a few deep breaths<\/a>, and return to your child with a clearer head. You\u2019ll have the opportunity to communicate with them in a manner that fosters security and connection.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>At the end of the day, parents are all doing their best in difficult situations. But it\u2019s important to remember that children are in that very same position. And when you find different ways of communicating with your child, it\u2019s easier to remember that you\u2019re both on the same team.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Love and Blessings,<\/p>\n<p>Katherine<br \/>\nP.S. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who understands. The Conscious Parenting Revolution has a network of supportive parents here to offer you solutions, or just a listening ear.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/consciousparentingrevolution\/\">Join our private Facebook Group today<\/a>!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stop me if you\u2019ve ever been in a situation like this one. . . &nbsp; You\u2019ve had a long day\u2014the kind where nothing seems to go right. Now, when you\u2019re supposed to be enjoying family time,\u00a0your kids will not stop bickering over the most insignificant things.\u00a0 &nbsp; While they\u2019re arguing over who can drink their [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":997,"featured_media":30766,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpupg_custom_link":[],"wpupg_custom_link_behaviour":["default"],"wpupg_custom_image":[],"wpupg_custom_image_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,68,58,66,47,62],"tags":[2140,2141,2175,2176,2177,2178,2179,2180,2181,2182,2183,2184,2185,2186,2168,2187,2152,2188,2189,2190,2191,2006,2192,2193,2194],"editorial_calendar_month":[],"class_list":["post-30765","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture-society","category-health-wellness","category-lifestyle","category-people","category-personal-development","category-society-culture","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-coach","tag-conscious-parenting","tag-conscious-parenting-revolution","tag-conscious-parenting-tools","tag-family-blog","tag-family-routine","tag-helping-families","tag-kids-at-home","tag-modern-parenting","tag-mom-blog","tag-mom-bloggers","tag-mom-blogging","tag-mommy-blogger","tag-parenting-blog","tag-parenting-blogs","tag-parenting-help","tag-parenting-in-2021","tag-parenting-is-hard","tag-parenting-resources","tag-parenting-support","tag-parenting-tips","tag-parenting-tools","tag-parents-support","tag-power-of-habit"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v17.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Does Yelling at Your Kid Work? - C-Suite Network Advisors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/csuiteold.c-suitenetwork.com\/advisors\/does-yelling-at-your-kid-work\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Does Yelling at Your Kid Work? - C-Suite Network Advisors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Stop me if you\u2019ve ever been in a situation like this one. . . &nbsp; You\u2019ve had a long day\u2014the kind where nothing seems to go right. 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