Is The Golden Rule Outdated?

by Tony Alessandra

Is the Golden Rule outdated? Absolutely not! The Golden Rule has as much “glitter” as ever. I believe and practice it 110 percent, especially when it comes to values, ethics, honesty and consideration. However, when it comes to interpersonal communication, it can very well backfire. The Golden Rule states: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Basically translated, that says to treat others the way you would like to be treated, which, of course, isn’t always the case.

An addition to the Golden Rule is The Platinum Rule: “Treat others the way they want to be treated.” The focus of relationships shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing” to “let me first understand what they want and then I’ll give it to them.”

The goal of The Platinum Rule is personal chemistry and productive relationships. You don’t have to change your personality; you simply have to understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them.

The Platinum Rule divides behavioral preferences into four personality styles: Director, Socializer, Relater and Thinker. Everyone possesses the qualities of each style to various degrees, and everyone has a dominant style. The key to using The Platinum Rule is understanding what a person’s dominant personality style is and treating him or her appropriately.

Directors are driven by two governing needs: to control and achieve. They are goal-oriented go-getters who are most comfortable when they are in charge of people and situations.

Socializers are friendly and enthusiastic, and they like to be where the action is. They thrive on admiration, acknowledgment and compliments. They are idea-people who excel at getting others excited about their vision.

Thinkers are analytical, persistent, systematic people who enjoy problem solving. They are detail-oriented, which makes them more concerned with content than style. Thinkers are task-oriented people who enjoy perfecting processes and working toward tangible results.

Relaters are warm and nurturing individuals. They are the most people-oriented of the four styles. Relaters are excellent listeners, devoted friends and loyal employees. They are good planners, persistent workers and good with follow-through.The Platinum Rule provides powerful life-skills that will serve you well in all your relationships: business, friends, family, spouse and children.

*This blog originally appeared on Assessment Business Center.

Tony Alessandra is the CEO of Assessment Business Center, a company that offers online 360º assessments, and a founding partner in the Platinum Rule Group, a company which has successfully combined cutting-edge technology and proven psychology to give salespeople the ability to build and maintain positive relationships with hundreds of clients and prospects. Tony is also prolific author with 27 books translated into more than 50 foreign language editions. Dr. Alessandra was inducted into the NSA Speakers Hall of Fame in 1985. Follow him on Twitter @TonyAlessandra.